Hypocrisy

Last Sunday, I went to church as I normally try to do. I sat and listenned to the chosen speaker tell the congregation about the wonders of repentance. The origins, the reasons, the wonders of God. All of it. Rather interesting and uplifting.

At the end of worship, I waited for the person leading to invite us to come to the front and pray should it be needed. I needed some prayer and I am certain that others did. That invitaion did not come.

Instead, a man asked to speak to the congregation. The man leading worship accepted warmly and the man came to the front of the church to speak to us.

This man was lost. I believe that he had been for quite some time but that is not something that I can be certain of. He asked us if he could ask a question. He had been fasting for 5 days in search of spiritual enlightenment. He needed help. Our help. So then came the question; "Do any of you know what the mystery of Christ is? Why he believed that his father had forsaken him on the cross when he was himself the Lord and should have known everything his father knew?"

I myself coming from a catholic background must admit that I am a bit jaded. The catholic upbringing that I came from taught me to fear God. To only do as I was said and ask no questions. It was also led by supposed God chosen people who, on one hand would say, Love thy neighbour...yet on the other hand, prosecute ANYONE who is not like us, who does not believe in what we believe in. I would say that many christians are this way. They were mislead and do not fully understand the concept that God is the only one that can judge us. That God loves all of his creations. No matter. And that he does not forsake his children. This is what this church has been trying to teach me.

The moment the words left the man's mouth, the air in the church became stiff, suffocating, negative, almost threatening. Some started quoting psalms, others argued that the man did not want an answer but only to attack. Then...one of the speakers that I had enjoyed the most went to the day's speaker (the one who spoke of repentance) and urged her to speak.

And so she did.

"This is neither the time or place for this type of question." she seemed to hiss.

I stood there open mouthed and truly mortified. Not by the fear of this troubled man pulling out a gun and opening fire, but of what I had just heard in response to him. Not the time or place? This woman who had sermoned for over 30 minutes about repentance and God's great forgiveness and love had just knocked this poor man down in an instant.

Is this what my new church is? A church filled with hypocrits unwilling to help their fellow man? Again?

I just had my beautiful daughter dedicated in this church not long ago and this, this is the type of reaction, response, that her ever so loving congregation is offering? THIS is what they have pledged to teach her?

I felt as though my heart had lept out of my throat. One woman stood up and started to profess everyone's doom at not believing in the Holy Mother and that's when I took my bearings, ran downstairs, grabbed my daughter and ran out. I ran out of what I thought had become a safe haven for me. Like a scared child. A place of acceptance, love and morals. A place where, I would be able to feel God's work through my fellow Christians. This had been the promise made to me there.

Instead...I saw anger, defensive stances, closed minds. And I am shattered. Had I not been so sickened by the scene, had I been more at ease with scripture and God himself, I would have run to the front and cried shame to the entire church. But then, who am I to do this? I came there to learn. To feel. God. Certainly, I could not be more knowledgeable than these "Leaders" who shot down this poor man. Could I be? Wasn't there ANYONE in this entire congregation that could stand up and put things into perspective? Shout; "SHAME ON YOU!! If THIS isn't the time or place, then where...WHERE can our brother turn to? Is this what our Father has taught us?"

Instead, the leader of the day, a man that I believe is an angel sent to earth, acknowledged the poor man's need and settled things quickly, quietly. Is this what the congregation deserved? What this man deserved? Again, I cannot judge. It is not my place. But I have to say, I am so, so disappointed. So broken hearted. And now I look at my church when I pass by with sorrow, anger and an immense sense of loss.

If I can't turn to my brothers and sisters, if a simple man cannot turn to us as a church, where on earth do I belong? Where can I possibly fit in?

I am lazy

Haven't posted in a while. Probably because I'm not frustrated about much Hah! However, I SHOULD be posting about good things as well.

We're having a crisis with our girl. She has always hated bed time. Always. Since birth.

Last night I got the biggest tantrum...she's never done this. Ever. I know what some are saying "Don't let her win, she's manipulation you blablabla" It's so easy for everyone to say how much better they can or would handle it. Well...apparently, I can't. She went to sleep finally but woke up a few hours later and we let her come to bed with us. Bad mom.

And now, I must tend to my stressed out husband who is texting like crazy over finances...ah the joy.

Hide your Beagles

Vick's an Eagle. I'm sorry, this is the absolute best quote of 2009.

I personally don't care what he did or didn't do. I just think that because of who he was, the "Law" went a tad overboard. As they did with Martha Stewart. Don't know her, don't have any type of emotion for her but...anyone else would have done what she supposedly did would have paid a freaking fine. End of story.

Anyway for Vick, it's over, he's done his time. Leave him alone.

And so...apparently, people will really have to live with him playing now as McNabb's broken his rib. It's almost as if Hollywood wrote this in! Fallen superstar comes back to mixed fan "appreciation" question is, will he have a happy ending and be the hero of the Season that makes all of his past mistakes forgiven by the great American public? Or will he crash and burn and be stoned even more than he has been for not being perfect? Stay tuned to CNN as I am sure they will have a whole story on it as "Breaking News" after the Superbowl.

Very, very curious to see how this turns out. Just because the way that people act, react and interact, fascinates me. And often drives me crazy, which in return, I am certain I do the same to many heh.

Personal opinions do not = Gospel

Rather than spew all of my thoughts on a medium that is meant for entertainment and daily communication with friends/family, I've decided to post this in here. Will anyone read or comment? Who knows. Either way, I'm getting it off my chest which makes me special I'm sure.

I must admit that I have NOT chosen to read up on what Americans are whining about now in regards to their newly elected president. I've seen bits and pieces of parents pulling children out of school so that they will not witness President Obama's speech about education. That in itself...tells me that this act alone is proof of the LACK of education that should exist in our world.

People are screaming bloody murder and brainwashing attempts...let's see...if you shield your child from everything that you do not believe in or understand, is that not some type of brainwashing? "Believe and see only what I see fit as I am the parent and what I say is law" Nice.

This is not pornography, gratuitous violence or discrimination (Do you remember a little thing called Segragation?) which is always available and free on your CNN channel daily. This is a speech. Given by a president. A President who was elected by his "People".

What a backwards fucking way of thinking. There. I've said it. Thankfully, not eveyone in the US feels that Obama is the Anti-Christ. However, the tolerant comments are never the ones to stand out as they do not evoque any type of frustrating emotion inside of most people.

I was just asked why I care since I am in Canada.

I care because I've always cared about bullshit accusations and judgements thrown at people. I care because I am trying to raise a child in this crazy society to have balls but to also understand compassion and tolerance. To not be swayed by one's gender, colour or religion. So when I see people being ridiculed for what they believe in, yes, it does make me react. I've said it many times, you can't be a fucking idiot because you like grapefruit and I don't. Opinions are what they are. OPINIONS. And for you to share them, fine. But don't call me an idiot because I don't share yours and DON'T try to make me change my mind.

And now I've lost my train of thought as I am thouroughly disgusted and frustrated at how small minded and belittling people can be for no fucking reason.

If any one reading this feels targeted, DEAL WITH IT as I haven't pointed my finger at anyone in particular. A POST in particular has made me think yes, however, this is not the only thing that has triggered this rant that I am on. If you feel like this is aimed at you, then you need to find the reason as to why you feel this way. And do something about it. Something...POSITIVE.

Curious...

I'm playing around with Twitter as usual. If people only knew ::.Smirks:: and I'm watching some of the ridiculous shit on there. It kind of makes me sad to see people's true colours come out via this impersonal, invisible medium.

You've got "Stars" tweeting about their lives that they oh so need to keep "private". Some that just want to have fun and actually interact with fans and others who are there simply to show who they know and how chummy they all are.

It's great fun to wander around the Twitterverse and seeing how people react to you depending on what name you have. Disappointing at times yet not surprising.

On another note; I'm afraid to say it but...I think summer is actually here. :/ It's hot as hell! I miss the damn snow ha!

I've also been trying to upload these stupid drivers for my scanner since I have no idea where the hell the CD is (Shoved it somewhere during the move) and it's driving me up the fucking wall. Hubby is the only genius apparently who can do this even if I DID resolve the previous hardware issue. And they said artists couldn't be technical. Mmhhmm.

Hopefully the day tomorrow will be lovely. Out for a little party for the Princess and her little friend. Must stock up on sunscreen and probably ear plugs. Those 2 will be screetching all the way into the evening ;)

No smart title here

I haven't blogged in quite some time. Many things happening. Some, remain the same.

Either way, I am still here. Searching for understanding. Fascinated with much. But my thoughts are so erratic, so tangled...Perhaps I will try this later.

Enough with the fear...(And a question)

This Swine Flu thing is just getting out of hand. Why do they feed so much on people's fear like this?? 2500 people a year die of Influenza in Canada alone.

When the whole SARS pandemic was going on, I flew my ass to China. This is almost like Y2K all over again. Everyone stop breathing, eating, living or you're going to die...

And of course, everyone is blaming well...everyone else. ::.Sigh::

On another topic, I'm watching something and I'm puzzled.

2 people adore each other, love each other. Then one day...poof. Gone. How does that happen? Do you truly ever stop loving someone? If you hate them, do you not love them in another sense? It's such a fine line...Indifference...that, is hell. For me anyway. Either way, how does it "Change"? and why?

Our children, we love them no matter what. No matter what. Correct? And even if some will say "Well, we create the children, they are a part of us" what of adopted children? I will adopt. And I will love that child no matter what. My blood? Nope. My child? You better fucking believe it. So...why does it change with lovers and spouses?

Perhaps I am stupid. I probably am.