My Girls

So, I'm laying here trying to get over this gross feeling in my stomach and I started to think about how truly blessed I am. I have a gorgeous daughter, a good hubby who likes to spy at what I'm writing while watching the sports highlights :p a beautiful home and friends that can't compare.

Those friends are unfortunately not physically here with me however, they help me in ways that most people dream of.

Jen. My NYC girl.
When I met Jen, she was a shy, reserved and quiet woman. Years passed and she transformed into the true New Yorker that she is ;) Loud (Heehee) confident, more outspoken with a heart that loves fiercely and loyally. The last time Jen was here was last year when she came to celebrate hers and T's bdays. Even if we don't see eachother every month, it never changes. When we do see each other, it's like it was just yesterday. Music was always our common love...and laughter. Crap do we laugh together. And no matter what time of day or night, if I need her, amidst all that she is going through, fighting through (And you WILL beat this evil disease that is failing at breaking your spirit) she is there. No matter what.

Christie. My Texas girl.
Chris is my spiritual guide, my comic relief and my guru mama. She runs after 3 boys all day long. One of which believes that repelling down a second story at 5am is a great idea, and acts as the mother for her own siblings quite often, and complains pretty much, NEVER. The moment anything happens, there she is. I think that if the day ever came where I needed her here, she would load up the boys in her car and drive herself here. The best part is that we can speak our minds and ask the questions that no one would ever admit to thinking of out loud. And that is priceless.

Laurie. My New England girl.
Laurie and I went through 1st trimester stress together. Second trimester fun and third trimester fear of giving birth together. Our babies were born very close in dates so most of the milestones and not so honourable toddler moments have been lived out at the same time. She supported me through my PPD, my anxieties at trying to be a good mother and has stood up with and for me in times where others wouldn't. I awaited her next miracle anxious with her. Barely containing my excitement when the big day finally came. And Dylan Ross was born. However, not in the way that had been expected. When I heard the news that Dylan was diagnosed with Down's syndrome, I was not heartbroken at the diagnosis. I was heartbroken at Laurie's pain and worry. Then, she let me in on Dylan's life. And every day, though I never got to hold either of them, I fell in love with this remarkable little boy. I remember thinking, after hearing the news, how lucky those two are to have been chosen to be together. And I believe this more every day. Laurie is my inspiration and my hero. I know that she probably gets tired of hearing it but she amazes me in so many ways. Through raising two children, fighting drs and celebrating her loves, she still takes the time to stop and think of me, to talk to me. Little me. That is worth so much...

Cheryl. My Barrie girl.
Ahhh my birth buddy. I remember getting the call in late August from Cheryl's sister telling me that she was in labour. I panicked and thought, no no, this is much too early. Then a calm came over me. This was Cheryl's kid. Which meant she would be strong, very strong. She would make it. And so she did. Silvia is beautiful, spunky, determined, gentle and loving. Like her mother.
I will always remember that image of Cheryl arriving at my patio door in the snow, carrying her little 2 month old and a bunch of different bags, smile on her face and ready to grab me into her arms as she came to meet T for the first time and soothe me through my PPD. That, meant more than I've ever been able to express.
We've celebrated birthdays, holidays together. We've worried for each other, stood up for each other and supported each other through many trials and joys. Right now, it's not easy for her and I wish that I could do something. Anything. Sometimes, I think that everyone just assumes that she can do it all on her own. Even she does this. But the best quality that Cheryl has is that she is human. None of us should ever forget that.

Amy. My Switzerland girl.
Amy lives the farthest and though that is, she is certainly not the farthest from my heart. I cannot wait until December when she comes home to Canada with her gorgeous babies so that we can all see each other again. Amy is quiet, shy but another lady with a fierce loving heart and soul. She thinks of everyone but herself. She takes the time to pick out suprises for T that always make her happy. And yes, I really do want her to marry JoJo. Amy stands in the shadows but is always one step away from grabbing on to me whenever I need it. And I have needed it. Each time, she was there. How lucky am I?

Heather, my FL girl.
I met Heather a year and a half ago and loved her instantly. She helped me survive my first FL cockroach (That was rather interesting) not butting out my smokes in a mailbox and mostly, kept me up to speed and confident in what I was doing. Her eyes are like diamonds but her heart is like nothing else on this planet. A treasure all around. When things get bad, her number comes up and I know that all she wants to do is make it all better. And she succeeds. Her honk is one of a kind and her laughter like sunshine and though I would give anything to fly out and be at her wedding, I know that she understands and loves me no matter how crazy I get. Listens to my OCD moments and my happy ones. My frustrations-I'd hate to cross that woman and I'd LOVE to see her in a dark alley against one dickhead that's crossed me. My sweet girl. Love love love you.

Though the warmth of a hand on mine, a hug that lasts 10 minutes or just a coffee at the corner bistro doesn't happen often, if ever, with these gorgeous, gorgeous girls...something more happens each time we speak. I won't lie. I do wish that we could all visit. Imagine a city with ALL of us in one place. Oooof!! They wouldn't know what hit them would they. I wish that we could have playdates and shopping excursions, spa days and bitch out sessions at the pub. However, that's not how life planned it. And I'm ok with that. I am blessed. And I know that I have failed to express what I wanted but the main thing is this; Thank you. All of you. For letting me be who I am. Uncensored, unmasked. Just me. I love you. Beyond words.