Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the day that I meet with my boss. And with someone else for something perhaps better. I don't know about that.

As much as I'm stressed about this, I'm to the point where I don't care. I've been cleaning up someone else's crap while doing all of mine and getting flack on top of it. Instead of voicing my usual concerns and stating out injustices, I will sit and nod and say, ok sure, yes sir. And if he actually cares enough to ask why I'm not saying much, I will just tell him the truth. No matter what I say, how I say it or how many times I say it; it doesn't matter. Never did.

Last night, S and I were talking about this and realized that, if I stayed home and worked enough evenings or weekends at some mindless job, all I would need really, is to bring home 350$ a week in my pockets and we would be better off than we are now. That's if we let go of Tita which neither of us are really ready to do. Just one more year and then T will be off to Montessori which costs half of what we are paying now for a live-in nanny. The next 5 wks are already stressful as Tita has left for the Philippines to visit her family and T is so incredibly attached to her. They have an incredible bond. And she does alot for us, even if her family pokes their noses into our business-it's always about money-I don't want to let her go. I've been afraid that she would leave us.

I'm actually counting the days until my inlaws arrive. That's a first for sure. I'm also hoping that this will quiet them all for the holidays. No, I don't want to drive 6 1/2 hours in the snow and ice. Again. As we have been doing forever. Sue me. I want to be in my new home with my family and my real xmas tree. This makes me a horrible person. So be it.

I'd also love to spend a night without coughing out my lungs or sweating 16 buckets, waking me up freezing and shivering. I've been sick for a month. Seriously, I'm kind of sick of sleeping on the couch so that I won't wake up the entire house.

Wow. I don't have Swine flu. I have WHINE flu don't I. Oh well.

I'm worried about alot of things, my mom included. She is so sick and I can't go and take care of her. She wouldn't let me anyway but I want to be there.

A year ago, I was in VA while Obama was elected, running around like a little superstar being pushed and praised for being "The best" at what I did.

Now? I'm awaiting my doom that will come at 12:30pm tomorrow. What will it be next year?