It is March and there are 5 months left until T starts school. She won't even be 4 by the time she goes in. A month she but still...the thought of it brings extreme nausea to me, thoughts/images of her trying to run to keep up with the others, falling on asphalt, being pushed down stairs, bullied. My fuck. Grammar school was such hell for me. I know that it sounds petty, but at least T is beautiful. Unlike I was-am.
Who will help her eat her lunch, go to the washroom, pick her up when she falls. If we wait another year, it will only prolong the process and she will be late compared to the others. She is already dying to be challenged, another year at daycare...not so good.
I never thought I'd be such a freaking wuss ::.Sigh:: I can't keep her in a bubble forever. Or can I?? Why am I this crazy when it comes to her??
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Ok, not crazy, NORMAL. Here they don't have pre-K, so mine only started school at 5, and she was the youngest in her class. The first weeks were hell for me, I'd never has so much sadness and anxiety in my life. After all we had been together for those 5 years as I was a stay-at-home Mom. Then something happened: I got used to leaving her at school...she got used to being there. They have structure and a routine, which you also will quickly fall into. As the years go by, every 1st day of school is a painful flashback to those first weeks...will she make friends? Will she be warm enough? Does she need me? And then...it's ok again.
ReplyDeleteI promise you it will be hard. I promise you it will get easier. She will go, with all the love and security you have given her, and she will flourish in ways you could not even imagine. I promise.
Love Benn xxx